Chizmizan with Chuva

Dear Chuva: Letter Number Three from “Walang True Love”

Kabords!!!!!!! Heto na ang ating third letter. Medyo mabigat ang dating nito! Hindi kaya ng powers ko. Puede bang magbigay kayo ng opinion ninyo? Ano sa palagay ninyo, totoo ba ang true love or hindi? I have searched the depths of my heart for the answer and I am composing my answer for “Walang True Love” right now pero nag-ba-blackout ang isip ko. Siguro manhid na rin ako pero I do have hope. There is always hope yet the problem I’m facing is - tama bang umasa? Huwag ka ng tumitig diyan, mag-comment ka na!

Let’s help these group of friends who are faced with a plaguing question. Read on kabords!!

Oh by the way, Normand - since you’ve been waiting for this letter - mag-buena mano ka kaya sa comments? I want to hear your opinion.

Dear Ate Chuva,

Pardon me if I call you Ate. It seems to fit while writing this letter to you. As comforting as writing Ate Helen or Kuya Eddie. I write to get your opinion on a subject that has eluded my friends and I. We can’t seem to agree whether true love exists or not. We have been friends most of our lives and each one of us hold a story very dear to us. We draw our conclusions from our experiences and sometimes we can’t even agree to disagree to keep the peace among us. We are very close as we treat each other like family. We are in our early thirties. I will give you a brief story about my friends and I, then I will tell you their stance when it comes to true love. Does it exist? Yes or No.

James is a happily married man. He has two wonderful kids and a beautiful wife. They have been together for ten years and have never been apart. James doesn’t believe in infidelity and has sworn that if something came in between him and his wife, he will fight for his love till the end. They are both thirty-three years old, very successful in their careers and their children are amazing. Both of their kids show a lot of promise intellectually and are handsome kids as well. Does true love exist for James? YES.

Jonel is a handsome guy who’s still searching for his special someone. He has been through many different relationships all his life and as soon he is with someone, he finds himself searching for the next one. To him, his partner should be perfect. By perfect, he means finding his soulmate. He has said that he will not stop his search until he finds “the ONE” whom he considers his soulmate and marries her. He’s got a wonderful career in sales and advertising. He is on his tenth relationship. He is 32 years old. Does true love exist for Jonel? YES.

Tessa is a single mom. She fell in love at a very young age of 19 and became pregnant out of wedlock. The parents of her boyfriend (now, an ex-boyfriend) didn’t believe that they should marry just because she became pregnant with his child. Her boyfriend gave her full custody of their child and has since left the country. She does say that her ex-boyfriend has not skipped on providing financial support for her son. They have an amicable relationship but she says that she no longer loves him. It is very hard for Tessa to go out dating because she lives with her parents. Her top priority right now is her son. She doesn’t get to meet a lot of people. She is feeling a little hopeless in meeting her knight in shining armor. The men she’s met in the past loses their interest as soon as they find that she had a son out of wedlock. Does she believe in true love? NO.

Kim is single and living the life. We can say that she should be settling down at her age. Sowing her oats at this age seems to not fit a “true Filipina woman”. She is a flight stewardess for Cathay Pacific based in Hong Kong. She’s seen the world and at times we envy her. She has three boyfriends (she wouldn’t admit they are boyfriends, she terms it “dating”) from different countries. Being beautiful and available, we sometimes wish that we are in her shoes. She gets to buy what she wants, travel where she wants to travel. Her problem, she has been through a lot. She’s been with married men who lied to her, telling her that they were single when they aren’t. She’s been with men who abused her physically and emotionally. She’s been with all kinds of men. Does true love exist for Kim? NO.

As for me, I have been raised from a very religious background. We were always taught to respect others. I don’t consider myself pretty. I thought about entering the convent at a very young age thinking it would be my way of serving God when in fact, I realized that it was going to be my refuge to avoid harsh realities in the world. I used to believe in true love and firmly believed that each one of us were given a perfect match. I’ve waited long enough to know that I do not and will not have that someone. I don’t want to enter the convent anymore. If I turn old and gray without finding that special someone, it will be fine with me. Does true love exist for me? NO.

With the little background I have provided, I hope you can settle this for us Ate Chuva. Does it only exist to people who have found it? Or, does it exist to hopeless romantics as well? Do people shun it after they’ve been stung, hurt or pricked by the thing called “LOVE”? Some of us believe so. It isn’t true love. It is our experience that makes it so. Do you agree?

Maraming salamat po Ate Chuva. Hindi po alam ng mga lalaki naming kaibigan na sumulat kami sa inyo. Barkada po kami since college at hanggang ngayon ay magkakasama pa rin kami. Ang mga asawa po ng mga barkada namin ay naging barkada na rin po namin. Inaanak ko po yung anak ni James.

Please tell what you believe and help us draw our conclusion from your response.

Respectfully yours,

Walang True Love

Source: PEP