It’s one of those days. I am stuck inside the house trying to recover from what supposedly was considered a “non-invasive” surgery. Well, it was more invasive than I thought. I was thinking that I would recover in three days – TOPS! But no. Here I am, a week and a half later and still reeling from the pain that two percocets and a valium can’t mend.
I am complaining. Yes. Relatively, I am also grateful. When do you really get to watch the first two seasons of Downton Abbey and open up the Collector’s set of Sex and the City and see it from start to finish? I just wish I was more comfortable and not tossing and turning, trying to find a comfortable position to fully enjoy the story lines. Even with the irritable pain however,I was still able to enjoy watching the episodes and it has fully inspired me to blog.
The point I was getting at in this post is the number of friends that I have who are single and most of them have had a serious relationship or two in the past. Yet, none of them seem to want to get back in the band wagon and enter into another relationship. I’m uncertain if it was the fact that they realized relationships are hard work and not worth their time or simply that true love doesn’t actually exist.
Being single during a time like this, when you need someone to pick up medicines for you or help you get up from the couch because you can hardly pull yourself up is when you start to think about having someone in your life. Wouldn’t it have been easier to say, “Babe, can you hand me a glass of water please?”, or “Can you please lift this for me? I was told by my doctor that I should avoid lifting for the next three days.”?
Then again, how may times do you get confined in your home or apartment and require all the assistance of someone to do things for you? I’m sure it’s less than having someone living with you that annoys the hell out of you day-in and day-out. So, which is the better of the two?
One thing that I am very grateful for is the fact that certain people in your life come out of the woodwork at times when you least expect them. Did I expect Ruth to take the time out of her busy life running from one job to another all week long just so she can bring me a bottle of cranberry juice or keep me company? Or did I expect Joey, who works like a race horse all week long to stop by and bring me a ziploc filled with prunes so that it would help ease my pain in going to the bathroom while I heal? And a surprising one of all is Soonyee, who took the time to come home from Chicago, ask her mom to cook Thanksgiving dinner and bring it over my house so I can celebrate Thanksgiving even though I can’t eat much of the food that I love so much? Picking up meds, running to the store and getting fruits with lots of fibers, shopping for little things that I need and making sure I am still breathing at night while I rest are little things but big things in a moment like this. Tasha has done most of that and I really thank him for it. This is the time when I can say that “friends with benefits” has a much better meaning than “friends with sex benefits”. Who needs the latter when you have the former?
If I sum it all up, I can fully admit that yes, it is scary to grow old alone. It is frightening to imagine that if by any chance you grow old and can no longer drive because your eyesight has gotten so bad, or your memory is no longer as sharp as it once was, you will need someone in your life to help you navigate through all of that. And of course, there’s nothing really that money can’t buy. If you have the resources, you can hire someone to do that all for you. But that’s not my point really. My point is – which is worth the journey? A journey alone with loyal friends or a journey with someone you can’t even be sure will be there when that time does come?
I guess more and more people are staying single because like me, they have become cynical about the need to have someone in your life just so that you can have someone in your life. It’s not like a parade like it was in our 20s anymore. Whoever had the hottest man right beside him at parties has been looked at as the lucky one.
As you grow older, you realize that the prize holding your arm is not the prize you thought it was going to be. There’s a lot more than just a pretty face, a bulging chest and huge biceps. A friend who offers you his or her assistance even if it is only the proper gesture and not a meaningful one still means a lot. Most of my friends do mean it though and are sincere to help. It warms the heart and lifts the spirit.
I discovered a lot of those friends during this time and I am determined to prove to them that I am and will be there for them as well when they need me the most. (God-willing!) And no, I am not afraid of being single and staying single. I am having the grandest time of my life.
Besides, I am still waiting for Brad Cooper to propose. LOL!
Have a nice weekend folks!