Crossroads. What is my purpose in life?

Could it be mid-life crisis?

I was watching the Academy Awards last night and while it was entertaining, I found myself listening intently to the speeches given by the Oscar winners. I heard them say, “This is what I have always wanted to do – and thank you to my spouse/parents/God/producer/agent etc. for allowing me to do what I want to do in life.”

Hmmm. The speeches were touching and they were enough to wake me up from my slumber and ask myself, am I doing what I was destined to do in life?  They seemed to have found what they were meant to do in life.  Will I ever find a time later in life and regret that I did not pursue the dream that I always had? But, then again, what was that dream? Wasn’t my dream to become a priest at the young age of 6-years old the path that I should have taken?  I did try and it did not work out for me. I s this a wake-up call for me to re-align my thoughts and energy to what it is that I was supposed to be?

After the show’s awkward ending last night, announcing La La Land as the winner for Best Picture instead of Moonlight, I got to thinking. What is it really that I love doing that if I do it, will I be able to make a living doing it? Several things came to mind. Although I will never be a full-time traveller, I have seen many bloggers do it. It provides a good living for them and they travel around the world and get paid for it. I enjoy cooking but I don’t cook good enough to open a restaurant and make it my source of income. I enjoy singing and dancing, but it doesn’t mean I want to be in show business or have a chance in the industry for that matter.

There is one thing that I would love to do though. I enjoy inspiring people. And if there is anything that I can do, and do it well, that is to influence people. I find satisfaction when I promote a product I am pleased with and people start using it. I remember during my early Fitbit days. I went to a party and I was walking around and around until someone stopped and asked me what I was doing. I told him that I am trying to meet my daily step goal. I showed him my Fitbit and before I know it, he had a Fitbit. Then his husband got one. In a few weeks, most of my friends had Fitbits and cannot wait to weigh-in, participate in the challenges and go. We are all friends in the app now and we can encourage each other many times to go the walk that extra mile.

So, if I could encourage people and motivate them, should I then go into public speaking? I love to speak – maybe not in public but I love sharing my thoughts.  I am not timid when it comes to talking to people. It is the fear of a large crowd that restrains me. I am sure though that I can practice and be better at it. The second dilemma is if I can make a living out of it? I am not a celebrity. I don’t have a sex tape out. So, how am I going to make people notice me? If this is not my purpose, will I still find it?  What was I really meant to do?

Ugh. I hope this is not my mid-life crisis because right now, I have this tendency to do something that is illogical and crazy.

What do you guys think?


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